I Think They Call It Judo
by gythia
Summary: This is another outtake from my original novel Some Say Fire. You don't have to have read any of the other outtakes to understand it, they are completely disconnected scenes. In this story, original character P and Thor meet up with Loki after visiting Baldur and Honir in Hel and tell him about a very silly event.


Outtake 4: About Baldur and Honir in Hel

Author's note: This is one of a series of outtakes from my original novel Some Say Fire. They are outtakes because I took them out, because they don't belong in the book. The reasons this scene does not belong in the book are: 1. I wrote this scene very early, before I had written about Loki's childhood and about Baldur's death, and now the way that Loki reacts to P's story about her meeting with Baldur and Honir no longer fits with the later material. 2. The idea of the blind man using his blindness as an excuse to be a borderline sexual predator is a storyline I later gave to Loki's blind brother Helblindi instead of Honir, so now I can't have Honir acting like that because there would be two people in the story with the same characterization. I could have more than one character with more common types of characterization such as "honorable warrior" or "bad cook" or whatever, but not this one because it's too unique. 3. The story point in which P defends herself from a god is too important to her story to use on a throw-away humor line. I decided to make that story point happen in a real time action scene later in the book instead of having her tell someone about it after it happened, and I decided it would be much more dramatic and create much more conflict for her to defend herself from a character who is more important to the story than Honir, so in the final book she will fight someone else.

Thor came striding across the smoking plain of Hel, P by his side. Loki called out, "Ah, you're back!" Thor and P reached the small group near the Naglfarr, most of whom seemed to be supervising rather than getting any work done to get it ready to sail. Loki asked, "How was your visit with your half brothers?"

"Strange," Thor said. "They were upset to see me here. It seems they were counting on the Prophecy being correct. I didn't mention the part about joining your side. I don't think Hela was fooled, though."

P added, "Baldur is a total airhead."

Loki spluttered in helpless laughter, his startled grin so wide it showed all his teeth. "I think I like you after all, P."

Thor defended him, if weakly. "He was really something when he had his powers."

Loki asked P, "And Honir?"

"He's a douchenozzle."

Loki laugh-choked and held both his hands over his chest. It took him a few seconds to form words. "What brought you to that conclusion?"

"He tried to grab my tits. Said I should be OK with it because he's blind. Asshole. Nobody touches me without my permission."

"Wow, P, I can certainly see your patron in you! You are Freya's for sure."

"You should have seen, it, Loki," Thor said. "Even I thought he deserved it. He's pulled that let-me-feel-you routine on way too many soft-hearted pity-people over the years."

"Such as me," Loki said tartly. "Soft-hearted, humpf. Anyway, what did P do?"

"I think they call it Judo. Flipped him up over the table and he landed on top of the roast pig, and P stuck the apple in his mouth. And then she said, 'Bite me.'"

Loki shrieked with laughter and did a little dance. "P, you did that to a god? I love you! You have no fear at all, do you?"

"Not of Honir. You, I fear. Not, not as a… So, how's the fingernail ship? Rotting like a corpse?"

"Shipshape. Of course it won't go anywhere without you. Your transport power is the key to everything."

"Since I hadn't been born yet when you started building it, how did you plan to sail it?"

"I didn't. I didn't build it, Hela's minions did. I always denied that I would ever sail it, that I'd ever be leading the army of the dead at Ragnarok. I never wanted it to sail, so it didn't matter."

"They say when you're looking for something, it's always in the last place you look."

"Because you stop looking when you find it, silly," Loki grinned. "But if you're trying to ask if I was the last god standing when it came to not wanting Ragnarok to happen, you're right. The moment I wanted it, I started it. It was Odin who was looking forward to it all along."


End file.
